Bored, bored, BORED. My head hurts from the sheer boredom of today's stifling routine. If it is possible to have a day that was less creative, less fulfilling, less authentic, less real, then I hope I never experience it.
But boredom served its purpose - it made me realise that how I am living my life is totally unacceptable and that I am tired, tired, tired of being the square peg in the round hole. I want to live my life, live it fully, really, authentically. I want to grab my life with both hands, hang on and shout "come on, let's run, let's jump, let's skip, let's play". There are ideas buzzing, flying around my head, there is a creative bubble inside me ready to burst out, I can feel pure joy and energy fighting to be let loose, I want to laugh long and loud for the sheer delight of hearing its sound. I want the plug to be pulled, the bottle uncorked, the dam released and everything that was stuck fast to come rushing, pouring, tumbling out. I want to live my values, speak my truth, blow my trumpet.
Phew! Good to get all that out. Right now I feel I am being swept along in a torrent of emotions, not knowing what will happen or where I'll end up. You know, I've realised that it's actually really hard work pretending to be someone else. And I'm not an actor so I don't even get paid! A lifetime's work and it's not even a great role. Time for the mask to be removed, the disguise to be taken off, to step from the shadows and into the (spot)light.
Time to introduce ME.
"Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment - this day - is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day - each moment of this day - a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity." Dan Custer, Author
My Complaint Free bracelet has been ordered but as it could take up to 45 days to arrive I have decided to start my challenge now and consider it a bit of a practice session to see how I get on. So far I have learned that by monitoring myself for every little moan or complaint I might make I am able to turn my attention to more positive thoughts and feelings. I have forgotten a few times of course and ended up having a good old rant about something or other. So early days yet. I think the physical act of having to switch the bracelet from one wrist to the other each time I catch myself complaining will definitely help. Even if I stop complaining simply because I get so fed up switching the bracelet back and forth! Of course I could just take the bracelet off altogether but that's just defeatist.